AddictedtoText

Movies! January 17, 2008

Juno - I Went to the theater (I know it’s shocking) and saw Juno the week before last. It was beautiful. I’m still in awe of it. I’m buying the soundtrack tomorrow. (Or at least ordering it off Amazon tomorrow.) I really liked everything about the movie and I’m glad I saw it in a theater on my own.

Blood Diamond – I was at my grandparents last weekend and they have Satellite TV and I was flipping through trying to find a good movie. I settled on Blood Diamond and my grandma watched it with me. I’m sure it was more violence than she likes and it was for me as well but it was so good. It’s not an unfamiliar topic to me. I stopped wanting anything to do with diamonds (conflict free or not) in like 1998 or so. It’s so nice to see something else about it. My grandma and I talked about it during the movie and a little after. She kept saying “I had no idea” so it felt good to be able to share something like that with her.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy – I’ve seen this one ages ago but it was on so I watched it again. Anything with Mos Def in it is good! Plus Hi I’m a geek! I read the book at 13 and was delighted to find out that my favorite number is THE number! It was really fun to watch the movie again and the scene where they are all knitted is my favorite. I really should get a copy for my library. It’s fantastic.

Once my netflix starts up again (new CC # kind of messed me up and then I over spent so it’ll be tomorrow before I get it paid and on to more movies.) you can look forward to my reviews of Dexter and other movies that I can’t remember at the moment.

Have a great day!!!

Hip-Hop Makes Me Happy December 27, 2007

I’m not a huge Kanye West fan so I’ve never really listened to any of his music until recently. My roommate was playing a lot of songs in preparation for a Halloween party we had and one of the songs was “Golddigger “since it’s catchy as hell we played it over and over. My work friends had a copy of the latest album and I’ve been listening to it quite a bit. He may be cocky but he’s pretty great. It’s nice to listen to Hip Hop that’s not all about guns and ho’s. It’s still not 100% what I like but its pretty close. I’ve also been listening to a TON of Lupe Fiasco which is great since his new album came out on the 18th of December and it’s EXCELLENT. I loved “Food and Liquor” so I was really excited about “The Cool” and it’s even better than the first. The thing I love most about Lupe is that it’s so positive. It’s pure hip hop and just excellent. Of course Mos Def and Common are in that group as well as Pharell and all that comes with him (N.E.R.D and The Neptunes). I like that they are work together also. They show up on one another’s albums and I’m most excited about Child Rebel Soldier, a collaboration between Lupe Fiasco, Kanye West and Pharell. I’m not as excited about Kanye, I’d prefer to see Common or Mos Def but I’ll take it!

So I guess what this says about me is that I like strong, political, men that produce great music that isn’t negative or exploiting women. I’d hang out with any one of them, I might get annoyed with Kanye but I’d deal with it.

I wrote this on Monday and I found out TODAY that my beloved Lupe Fiasco is playing in Portland on January 10, 2008. I can’t think of a better way to start the new year. Seriously I’m more than happy about this.

What Ever Shall i do? December 19, 2007

I have a habit of only seeing what I want to see in the opposite sex. I see them but I excuse away the little things I shouldn’t, not like glaringly obvious (well sometimes) but little things that will hurt you in the end. I ignore what I know will hurt me and I don’t ask questions that might get answered in the wrong way. I’ve dated men for years without ever saying I love you for the fear of never hearing it back.

I hurt right now. I’m in pain and all I want to do is cry and blame someone else. I can’t do that though and I need to take the blame for my own actions. I had a feeling this would happen but I hoped it wouldn’t. How do you hope without being delusional about it? My huge capacity to Hope is my downfall every time. I have so much faith in the men that I care for that when I get hurt I fall very hard. I don’t want to be a bitter woman, or a distrusting one, I can see myself falling that way though. I’m already starting to lean that way, once someone I really could have feelings for I tend to start to sabotage myself. I talk about the pain I’ve experienced in my life in an attempt to show what I’ve been through and what I don’t want to go through again but it makes me look like a complainer and that I have issues instead of what I mean it to. I want to trust and protect myself at the same time, I just don’t know how. I want to believe that everyone in the world is as honest, as genuine and trustworthy as I hope that I am.

I’m not in the same kind of pain as I was in the past; I don’t have much to grieve for except what could have been. I’m a different person than the last time I grieved over a relationship or the promise of one. I want to take this anger, hurt, pain and sadness and use it. I want to change it into a positive and not into a sore that takes forever to heal. I don’t want to forget I just want to be able to see the reality in a situation without turning it negative.