Summer 2009 update – Growing in leaps and bounds.
So it’s been 11 (7/16) days since I set my goals for the summer and I wanted to update on my progress (more for me than anyone else)
Sister and Family moving to Texas – This was easier than I thought. Their going away party was on the 19th and I cried and cried. Once I thought about it was the best thing I could have done, getting it out and letting them know I loved them that much to blubber in front of all their friends. The biggest thing I realized that my brother-in–law is more than Sabrina’s husband, he was one of my first friends in High School and that didn’t hit me until then, I gave all the kids hugs and told them how much they mean to me.
They started their journey on the 23rd. Sabrina has been texting from the road, which was really hard at first but it’s been nice knowing what was going on and all that. She uploaded photos last night and that was nice also. They are now in Texas and the text I got a few minutes ago read “Sam just asked where are the mountains with snow”. Sam is my heart, I had him for 5 days when he was a baby so I’ve always felt a little responsible for him, that text broke my heart a little and also made me laugh. The stress of this is almost all gone, I get a little teary but I’m excited to have a chance to visit Texas now!
Cut out Caffeine! I had my last slightest bit a week ago saturday in a sweet tea, it was hard not getting my regular Stumptown at Pine State Biscuits but my nerves have been so much happier with me. No more morning soda or occasional soda at that. I don’t find myself always hunching my shoulders and having the feeling of my skin crawling, of course I’m tired and know that I can’t really do much about it… It’s been worth it though. My anxiety level has dropped so low with just that.
The 1 year anv of the breakdown hasn’t been hard. I kind of wish I didn’t remember dates so well… Part of me feels silly for talking about it out loud, I don’t want people to think that I’m an attention seeking or crazy enough to be talky about it. In reality it’s not something I feel I should be ashamed of. Life and stress got to me so I took time off from work. I slept a lot and started taking anti anxiety medication. Well more than before. Maybe I shouldn’t talk about it so casually, because it’s not like I was committed or anything. I just took time off work.
The rest of the things on my list aren’t really things that can be a big change right now, or at all, more of things I deal with and the immediate things help lessen the stress of them.
The “breakup” has me stressed of course, we are getting together tomorrow to talk about it. Not sure what will happen or what I really want to happen honestly. It’ll be nice to see him though. I might not feel so compelled to go out on the weekends and do almost stupid shit. Mostly I’m proud that I haven’t given into the compulsions, that in itself is the biggest show of growth for me, and not because of this situation for ME, I’ve come a long way!
