One last goodbye December 31, 2007
I was sitting here just getting ready to head out the door when I realized how much I missed him. The further away I get the more I know it wasn’t going to ever be more than what it was. It started as friends moved to casual flirting and at the end it was way more than it should have been. We never touched save for a couple of times, but nothing more than friends, but the thought of him still burns inside of me. I hate that he was so close to all that i want in a man because now I’m so sad for no real reason. We didn’t date we didn’t have any real promises to one another. I don’t miss him as much as I did but times like this make me ache. Maybe it’s more than just him. It’s about missing all kinds of people, friends, lovers, family and myself. 2007 is closing and it’s been the most productive year ever.
I welcome 2008 with open arms and I hope it will do me well.
i was going to say something like, losing nothing is harder than losing everything. but that’s not quite right. it’s more like, losing a gray area hurts so much more than losing something sharply defined. the gray area could have hidden everything. does that make sense?
I completely understand where you are coming from. That makes a lot of sense too actually. I’ve lived my life with a lot of “What if’s though” so maybe that’s why I’m always in such pain over men.
Thank you!